Functional Literacy -- Part 1

Our son is a Hebrew scholar. Of course we're going to think so, we're his parents. However, truly understanding why we say this has so much to do with mine and Danny's own Hebrew education.

Growing up in Minot, ND, my parents worked hard to make sure I had a strong sense of my Jewish identity. We lit the candles most Friday nights. I went to a Jewish summer camp from the time I was 10 until I graduated high school. And they worked with the Minneapolis Talmud Torah to help teach me how to read Hebrew.

Many of you have heard this story, but it's worth repeating. I think it was when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I learned how to read Hebrew on Beta video tapes sent to me from the Talmud Torah.

No, this was not a video collection my parents found on the QVC for the low, low price of $29.99 a month for six months. And no, Beta in those days didn't mean test mode. Beta was a video format like VHS.

My parents would slip in the awkwardly-large tape into the VCR, and on the screen a teacher stood before a chalkboard in the classroom and instructed me on the Hebrew alphabet, and how the sounds came together to form the words on the page.

Ironically, there was always a lot of commotion going on outside the room, and as I write this I'm beginning to wonder if it was any of you who grew up in Minneapolis running through the halls...hmmm...

Following the lesson, my Dad and I would sit, side-by-side, squished together, on an over-sized 1970's, orange chair. Together, we'd read out loud from a book that accompanied the lesson from the tape. Sounds like an Andy Warholstein image, right? Well, no, not exactly. Here's how I remember it:

Me: I can't remember the sounds!
Dad: Let's start again
Me: (energy rising) I don't want to do this
Dad: Just read it through
Me: (tears) nooooo!
Dad: Let's keep going
Me: (emphatic) FINE!

Due to Dad's perseverance through my stubbornness, I did learn to read Hebrew. Sadly, I read like a 1st grader reads English. While everyone else in services davens a mile-a-minute, I slowly read through the sounds.

Andrew also started learning to read Hebrew around 3rd grade. However, his instruction was in an actual Talmud Torah classroom. No tears. Sadly, no oversized, orange chair -- I did love that chair. Andrew remembers the sounds and his ready fluency is fluid.

This concludes part one. But, I'm sure you're wondering - was Danny Bar Mitzvah'ed? Will Heidi be able to help Andrew learn trope? Will Andrew find a carpool to Talmud Torah? All these questions and more will be answered in Part 2 of Functional Literacy. Please watch your emails for the next installment...