Tales of Bar Zilla

We've all seen or heard of the crazy reality show Bridezilla, where you watch a young and hopefull bride turn into a raging diva that expects nothing but perfection. If that's the case for weddings, what is the case for Bar Mitzvahs? Does the family who is preparing for this milestone also take on a zilla, only in this case they become Bar Zillas?

Evidence of the Bar Zilla creeps into the everyday routing. It doesn't start fully blown out. It doesn't start out with an obsession with invitations, and hotel accommodations, and party themes. No, it starts out simply with a wish and a hope that your family can make it into town, and that your child takes his hebrew studies seriously. But slowly, the Zilla creeps in. It may start when you get your date and begin to think about where you want to host the party. Or it may begin when you start attending other friends' and families' mitzvah events.

In my case it started when I began assembling the invitations, which will come as no surprise to anyone following this blog. Bar Zilla grabbed hold during those assembly moments and took over, in full force. No longer was this an event to mark a milestone in my son's journey through Judiasm. No, this was a full blown mid-life crisis to which sending invitations signaled the concrete reality that the future was now the present.

So how do you grab back onto reality? How do you remind your self that in the end, your kid is still going to be a Bar Mitzvah, even if you decide to have or not have a centerpiece on the table for the Saturday night party?

Hearing from so many of you who are following my little stories are grounding moments for me. I've heard from people whom I haven't talked to on a regular basis in years. You've shared your memories and some have even shared some great photos from the past! These exchanges are what grounds me. When it's all said and done, what we'll talk about is how simchas like this one brings families and friends together. How simchas like this one gives permission to connect and reconnect. Not everyone can attend. That's okay. Either way you are present in our hearts.

I know another Bar Zilla moment will creep up again. But, I find comfort in knowing that you are all providing so much support. So please accept my appreciation and thank you for listening... or eh...reading along.