A Peek Behind the Curtain

These last few blog posts have hopefully provided you a better understanding of what to expect from the service. It's fair to say, however, that there is a lot more going on during those hours leading to lunch. I remember when Danny and I got married, we took my maid of honor, who wasn't Jewish, to morning services. Before we went, I prepared her for what to expect that isn't necessarily part of the service, but that she might find curious or even disruptive.

Knowing that many of you are coming from different congregations, as well as other denominations,I'd like to familiarize you with what to expect outside of the traditional series of prayers, Torah readings and sermons.

Services start right at 9:30 a.m. and go until about 12:30 p.m. more or less. However, people tend to arrive anywhere between 9:30 a.m. and 10: 15 a.m. Some may consider that rude or sacrilegious, but it's a common occurrence in most conservative congregations throughout the world...or at least the ones I've attended.

Arriving at 9:30 a.m. has its benefits. Towards the beginning of the service, before 10 a.m., Danny and I will present Andrew with his Tallis (prayer shawl) and say a few words to him. Also, you'll have your pick of seats to sit in. Not that the seats fill up, but people tend to save seats for those that are on the way. In most cases Tallis' and prayer books will be strewn across the rows. In other cases it may not be that obvious and you'll find yourself in a game of jumping beans. You sit down, and someone says, sorry that seat's taken, you stand up. You sit down, and someone else says that seat's taken. You jump up. We will sit towards the front on the right side, and of course we'll try to save seats, but there are no guarantees :)

You'll also hear a low hum buzzing across the congregation. Yes, in most cases this is the hushed shuckling (the exercise of swaying back and forth while reading Hebrew out loud) of congregants deep in prayer. But, in other cases it's the low hush of conversation. This is not encouraged, of course. And you might hear some shushing others. I don't know if it's a case where the older set doesn't realize that their whispers are really just breathy screams, or if people think that since most of the service is chanted in Hebrew their conversations will be drowned out by the davening (another word for swaying back and forth while reading Hebrew out loud).

After services, and the crowd is ravishingly hungry, the congregation makes their way to the social hall for the Kiddush -- the name for the light lunch served following the service. I recommend making your way quickly to get in line, and finding a seat. There's nothing like being part of the 200-plus, post-services crowd politely jockeying their way to get a nibble of kugel (sweet noodle casserole), or a bite of a blintz (crepe-like casserole).

Once you've had your nosh (light snack), you may notice that a crowd of congregants are standing in a huddle poking their heads in and out. No, this isn't a post lunch prayer. No, this isn't a ritual dance. This bird-like, pecking motion signals that the crowd is surveying the selection of sweets from the dessert table. What's happening is this: One person is looking in to see what the assortment has to offer. Another person is looking out to see if their spouse notices they've snuck some snickerdoodles before coming back to the table. Yet another person is looking in and asking the person on the opposite side of the table what's down there and if they know who made it.

So there you have it. The behind the scenes. I would imagine every congregation, Jewish or otherwise, has its idiosyncrasies. I wouldn't have it any other way.

What's He Talking About?

Chanting away in Hebrew for some sounds melodic, for others monotone, and even a bit gutteral. But, one question the incessant chanting begs is, "What are they talking about"?

I've just finished writing the program that we'll share at the service to help those who may not be familiar with a Jewish service, become more familiar with the basics. When I finished up the Cliff Notes, I realized I'd barely scratched the surface. As Indigo Montoya said in the movie the Princess Bride, "Let me explain...wait we don't have enough time, let me sum up."

At the end of the service Andrew will deliver a D'var Torah, or sermon reflecting on what the section he read means and what it can teach the congregation. His Torah portion (the story he is chanting in Hebrew) is called Vayachi. The portion opens with Jacob addressing his sons as he lays down on his death bed. Jacob addresses each of the sons and shares what he feels are their gifts and their misgivings. He discusses where he would like to be burried and the importance of his faith.

 If you saw the play, Joseph and the Amazing Technocolor Dreamcoat, you'll remember that Joseph's brothers are jealous of the attention Jacob pays and throw him in a pit to die. In the section Andrew is reading from this event has already taken place and Joseph chooses to forgive his brothers. He does so as a form of Shalom Bayit, or peace in the home. Figuring what's done is done and it is now time to move forward.

Heavy topic for a 12 year old to wrestle with. You'll hear Andrew dig into the concept of Shalom Bayit as well as honesty, and when is it okay to stretch the truth. A terrific topic for him to consider as he enters his teen years. When do you decide to tell your parents about the trouble you and your friends got into, and when do you choose not to. What are the consequences? And when should you hold your tongue and not say anything at all. If I'm wearing an ugly shirt, is it really necessary to tell me how awful I look, or should you just accept it say nothing and move on?

Consider this your Torah teaser. If you'd like to learn more about what Andrew is talking about, I'm including a few links that will help provide more familiarity.


Wikipedia -- Vayechi

Torah.org -- Vayechi

Putting G-d on the Guest List

I recently read a book called, "Putting G-d on the Guest List", by Jeffrey K. Salkin. In the book, he writes that many Jewish people are not entirely comfortable talking about G-d. I'm in that camp. So as I talk about HIM, I'm renaming HIM, Henry. Weird, I guess, but more comfortable for me.

Well before Andrew was born, Henry was an active part of Danny and my life. Over the years, I can remember having a chat, sharing a secret, pleading for help, begging, promising or just plain confiding in Henry. My question, though, is how do you introduce your kid to someone whom you can't see, you can't hear and you're not too comfortable talking about?

Now forgive me for sounding like Tevya from the movie "Fiddler on the Roof", but he did have it right when he said a Jew's connection to Henry is through their observance of Jewish tradition. And, like Tevya who asks, "So when did this tradition get started?" I repeat his response, " I don't know." But tradition is what connects us through the generations and across the world.

We've done our best to observe Jewish traditions such as holidays and Shabbat (Friday night). We've tried our best to instill our commitment to the Jewish community by attending events that support our synagogue and Jews in the broader community. We've shared the culture of Judaism by introducing customary foods like chopped liver and herring, and phrases from Yiddish and Hebrew that we can remember.

These activities are all the ways we've introduced Judaism to Andrew. However, introducing Henry to Andrew in large part has been through our relationships with family and friends, Jewish and non Jewish.

Hearing the reminiscent stories from our family, bring the existence of Henry to life. My mom often tells us a wonderful story about how each Shabbat, when she was growing up, she'd watch her mother make chicken soup from scratch.  The story begins with how her mom would pluck the feathers off the chicken in their backyard, and end with her mom schlepping (Yiddish for carrying with a lot of strength) a huge vat of soup up the stairs from the basement to share with my mom's dad, brother and sisters, and Aunts and Uncles. No wonder my mom uses the Yiddish word  Oy! so often! I can't say I ever saw my mom schlep soup from our basement. However, I've never felt more aware of Henry than when we eat chicken soup as a family and hear that story. Memories like this one bring to life the Hebrew phrase L'Dor V Dor, which means from generation to generation.

Our friends have also helped with introductions. Danny and I didn't grow up in the Twin Cities, but today we don't feel like outsiders. We are blessed with forever friends who've welcomed us into their homes for the holidays, and shared their special traditions. Henry doesn't come up a lot in our conversations, but we all know he's present.

Our non-Jewish friends have been just as important. They've accepted us for who we are, and recognize, respect and celebrate our traditions. We are so blessed to have you all in our lives.

So as I work on the seating chart for Saturday night, I'm not going to worry about where Henry's going to sit. Suffice it to say HE's on the list and present at our event.

Imagine that!

Dear 23-year-old Andrew;

As I write this, your Bar Mitzvah is just three short weeks away. Friends and family are sending back their RSVPs, and we are sitting back and taking a breather before the next round of planning and preparing ramp up.

For the 100 days leading up to your milestone mitzvah, I've been writing a series of stories and reflections. But, I think it would also be fun to consider and predict what the next 12 may be like.

...I imagine you and your father still steal every free minute to talk sports, watch sports, and play sports

...I imagine you and Jordan will continue to giggle, tease, hang with the neighbor kids and take care of each other

...I imagine that similar to the last 12 years, Josh Levitt will continue to be a forever friend that will be important to you for the next many years.

...I imagine you might have a few crushes and a few heart aches

...I imagine you'll ace a few tests, and struggle through a few others

...I imagine that basketball, baseball, Herzl camp, and school plays will continue to mark the rites of the seasons

...I cautiously imagine you getting your driver's license

...I hesitantly imagine you thinking about where you will ultimately go to college...possibly Duke? possibly Syracuse?

...I find myself trying not to imagine what it would be like when you graduate from high school and make that leap to leave for college

I can, and I can't wait to see how these next 12 years unfold. I can and I can't imagine what it will be like. What I do know for certain is that your Dad and I could not be more proud...for more reasons than you would ever imagine!

What NOT? To Wear

Ever have the dream where you wake up and you realize you slept through your alarm, and you're scheduled to take a final college exam of which class you haven't attended all quarter, and you rush out the door realizing you don't know which building or floor the class is held, and without a lot of good judgment you decide that finding a shirt to wear isn't necessary, since you are so late....ummm....you haven't had that dream? Well....umm...okay.

I have.

I don't dare ask Andrew if he's having similar dreams as he thinks about getting up to read Torah. So, rather than asking him. I figure it's time to go shopping for his official Bar Mitzvah wardrobe.

I didn't budget for a family stylist. So, to gather ideas, I've been secretly stealing glances at the kids delivering their parshat on Saturday morning, as well as those kids and adults attending. Come on, we all do it. We all take a few mental notes as we get prepared for our own events. Of course going to services is a religious experience, but those few months leading up to your own event are truly recognisance missions.

With mental notes relayed, sizes in hand, boy in tow, Danny takes Andrew and embarks on a father-son bonding mission to get a well-fitted suit. I got the cliff notes of their trip:

• Really nice guy waited on them



• Guy knew exactly what they would like, and quickly brought over options



• Andrew picked out what he liked, and it's now in for tailoring, with room to grow



• The guys came home with a bag that carried two ties - one for Friday and one for Saturday -- the suit will be ready well before the big day

Andrew is outfitted to look like a man, and Danny tells me he looks like a mentsch (Yiddish for clean cut, well behaved young man). While I don't know "who" he's wearing, I do know it's a pinstripe blue suit.

So now on to dress the rest of the family. Friday night is Shabbas Sheik, which means conservative and comfortable. I'll probably wear a skirt, Danny, Andrew and Jordan a suit. If only someone would invent the dress- up snuggy (that blanket thing with sleeves). I find that Friday's are a day when I want to curl up with the boys, watch a movie and stare into space. Our friend Scot and I refer to this far away, sometimes absent look as Friday face. But, alas the dress- up snuggy is not to be.

Saturday morning, again is conservative and comfortable. I'm close to finding an outfit. Either I'll wear a suit, or a cozy sweater dress. Danny, Andrew and Jordan will all be in suits. Guys have it so easy!

Saturday night is dressy casual. To which I would normally say, what the heck does that mean? Well, if I had to define it, I would say it's not so formal that you need to wear an evening gown, but not so casual that you could get away with jeans. Danny will probably wear dress pants and a sports coat, the verdict is still out for Andrew and Jordan, but it will probably be dress pants and a funky dressy shirt. Jordan usually wears his signature pageboy hat, but we'll see where the wind takes him.

Sunday morning? Ultra casual. Funny, though, because I'm looking to buy a nice sweat outfit. I say funny, because by describing the attire as ultra casual you would think this wouldn't prompt me to go in search for an outfit. Not exactly, but there is not need to dress on ceremony for this meal.

So there you have it. Hopefully, the Geller family will be well outfitted, which will encourage us all to sleep restfully with dreams where we are on time, prepared, in the right placed, and fully clothed.

Lila Tov (Good night!)

Tales of Bar Zilla

We've all seen or heard of the crazy reality show Bridezilla, where you watch a young and hopefull bride turn into a raging diva that expects nothing but perfection. If that's the case for weddings, what is the case for Bar Mitzvahs? Does the family who is preparing for this milestone also take on a zilla, only in this case they become Bar Zillas?

Evidence of the Bar Zilla creeps into the everyday routing. It doesn't start fully blown out. It doesn't start out with an obsession with invitations, and hotel accommodations, and party themes. No, it starts out simply with a wish and a hope that your family can make it into town, and that your child takes his hebrew studies seriously. But slowly, the Zilla creeps in. It may start when you get your date and begin to think about where you want to host the party. Or it may begin when you start attending other friends' and families' mitzvah events.

In my case it started when I began assembling the invitations, which will come as no surprise to anyone following this blog. Bar Zilla grabbed hold during those assembly moments and took over, in full force. No longer was this an event to mark a milestone in my son's journey through Judiasm. No, this was a full blown mid-life crisis to which sending invitations signaled the concrete reality that the future was now the present.

So how do you grab back onto reality? How do you remind your self that in the end, your kid is still going to be a Bar Mitzvah, even if you decide to have or not have a centerpiece on the table for the Saturday night party?

Hearing from so many of you who are following my little stories are grounding moments for me. I've heard from people whom I haven't talked to on a regular basis in years. You've shared your memories and some have even shared some great photos from the past! These exchanges are what grounds me. When it's all said and done, what we'll talk about is how simchas like this one brings families and friends together. How simchas like this one gives permission to connect and reconnect. Not everyone can attend. That's okay. Either way you are present in our hearts.

I know another Bar Zilla moment will creep up again. But, I find comfort in knowing that you are all providing so much support. So please accept my appreciation and thank you for listening... or eh...reading along.

Watch your Mailboxes!

Okay...as promised, here's what happened with the invitations...put to song, of course!

(sung to the Passover Sedar song Dayenu. Dayenu means, it would have been sufficient)


If the invitations had matched Andrew's Talis, but didn't need to be handmade. Dayenu!


If the invitations were handmade, but didn't need to be cut and pasted together. Dayenu!


If the invitations were cut and pasted together, but didn't need be printed by a professional. Dayenu!


If the invitations were printed by a professional, but didn't need to be reprinted when they forgot to print Andrew's name in Hebrew. Dayenu


If the invitations were reprinted with Andrew's Hebrew name, but didn't require a village of friends and family to help assemble. Dayenu!


If the invitations were assembled by a wonderful village of friends and family, but didn't require address labels. Dayenu


If theinvitations used address labels, but Andrew didn't insist on adding all of his friends at school and SMP and Talmud Torah and neighbors and the state of Israel. Dayenu!

Okay...you get the idea.


This year we mailed the invitations, next year we'll see you all at the Bar Mitzvah!

If I were a rich (wo)MAN

A few years ago, Andrew asked if we were rich. I asked him, what do you mean? He said, well one of my friends says we must be really rich because we have a Computer and a PlayStation. I thought about this for a minute. And then decided to reply, no...we just really like to collect things with screens.

But I got to thinking about his question. What truly makes a person rich? I've met "wealthy" people whose hearts have been foreclosed on by friends or family. I've met many "poor" people who live life to the fullest by enjoying the gifts of friendship and love.

If I had that moment back. If Andrew asked me that question again. I'd simply say, yes. We are exceptionally rich. Rich with love, family and friends.

I've never felt wealthier than I do today as the RSVPs make their way back to us in the mail. To know that family and friends from across the country are making the trek, is more than humbling.

Here are a few of the highlights:

• Our New Jersey cousins added the Bar Mitzvah to their honeymoon itinerary. Note that they start out in the Bahamas!


• My cousin Jessica is coming in a day early to schlepp around with us! We are thrilled to have her!


• My cousin Ryan in Denver is doing bench presses in preparation for lifting the Torah -- well, I don't know that he's really weight training, but we are so happy to have him do the honor!


• One of our dearest friends told us they were supposed to be in China for work, and that they rearranged the trip so they could be at our event.


• We are grateful for our family in Canada who are going to drive down for our event!


• While not everyone is able to be at our simcha (Hebrew for event), they will be there in spirit!

So yes, we are rich. We are exceptionally rich. We have a family who loves us, forever friends whom we can count on and who hopefully know that they can always count on us, and we have each other.

Striking the Right Tone

Throughout our lives, I believe, people are on a constant path to find their voice. Watching your child find theirs is the most special experience a parent can witness. Here are some of the wonderful ways Andrew has made his voice known over the past 12 years.

3 months
Andrew found out he had a voice when he was three months old. When he began to verbalize sounds he would stare intently, and with great expression he would make the ooo and owww and ohhh sounds. In fact, when we went in for his intake meeting for daycare he had a lot to “say”.

As the teacher asked about his habits, I rested Andrew in a sitting position on top of a reading table in the Adath library. He looked intensely at the teacher and began to vocalize, as the teacher and I talked about his habits.

You would have thought he was running the conversation. He locked eyes with the teacher, and for all I know he was trying to tell her…“I take two naps a day, I prefer to swing for at least a half hour, I’m not eating solids, but I do watch my parents when they eat at our kitchen table. I like to have books read to me. Snuggles and hugs are a must.” When we were finally able to finish up the meeting, he stopped as well.

24 months
Andrew had a lot of ear infections that led to having tubes put in his ears and the removal of both his tonsils and adnoids. Because of this, his speech was a little delayed and we worked with a speech therapist to help clear up his language. This didn’t stop him from talking, but it did make it hard for him to be understood. Remarkably, after about a year of relearning sounds, he began to deliver proper pronunciations. He was determined, you could see it in his intense concentration during the classes. He’s been going a mile a minute ever since.

8 years old
Andrew had the unique opportunity in Denver to lead a prayer during our cousin Ryan's Bar Mitzvah. The prayer was delivered responsively and required Andrew to learn how to pronounce, read and sing quite a few lines in Hebrew. Once again, Andrew was diligent. He listened to the tape that was provided in advance of the event. He worked with our dear friend and Hebrew teacher, Heidi Roston, to read the words and sing the melody. And when he got up to lead, everyone remarked how well he did, and that he sounded like a little sicken (birdie in Yiddish). At 8 he understood this was important and he worked hard to master the task.

12 almost 13 years old
Today, Andrew's voice is going through a lot of changes. What used to be a soft, yet loud, squeak, is now a low, still loud, baratone. When he calls home, or talks with his friends or practices his parsha, I find myself taking a double take. Yep, that's my kid, who doesn't sound too much like a kid any more.

Some things don't change, though. He continues to make himself heard, whether that's singing a song during his middle school play, or groaning when he doesn't want to do his homework. He's still intent with his words, whether that's engaging in a lively debate about whether Wisconsin will make it to the Rose Bowl, or telling me a joke that puts me into a fit of giggles. He continues to be diligent, as he works to master the words in the Torah, Haftorah and D'var Torah (speech in English reflecting on what he read in Hebrew).

It's not for me to say when Andrew will find his voice, or what that voice will sound like. But, I will tell you that I love his accent. Within his voice today, I hear strength, compassion, irony at times, opinion, love and friendship.

"There is a voice inside of you, that whispers all day long, 'I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.' No teacher, preacher, parent, friend ... or wise man can decide, what's right for you--just listen, to the voice that speaks inside." ~Shel Silverstein, "The Voice"

Happy Thanksgiving! Essen! Essen! (Yiddish for eat, eat!)

Turkey's cookin in the oven, parades are on the TV, and oh...ya...the invitations are still on the dining room table. But we'll get those wrapped up tomorrow! And in a future post, I'll tell you the story about that one. Not a bad story, but one that I'll be more interested in sharing once the invites have left the house! (how's that for a cliff hanger!)

Anyways...it's thanks giving. Which makes me think about food. Which makes me think about my meetings with the caterers next week. But that is a story for yet another post (I'm killen ya softely with all the suspense here, aren't I ha!)

Anyways...food.

Andrew has a lot of favorite foods, and I attribute his not so persnickety pallet entirely to Danny. When Andrew was a baby, and started eating from the Gerber aisle, his menu delivered a pureed potpourri of gastronomical delight! Simply put, we introduced him to a whole lot of different foods. Danny not only bought the traditional sweet potatoes, carrots, and apple sauce, but he also combed the grocery stories for spinach, peas and other delectable vegetable combinations.

Andrew also got a taste for Jewish cooking at a young age. At a Passover Seder in Fargo, Esther (G-d**Bless her!*) gave Andrew his first taste of a pickle, at 3 months old. We have it on video; the transcript reads like this:

Esther: Aaaaa Peeekle?
Andrew: Wide mouthed, wide eye smiling
Esther: Aaaa Peekle?
Andrew: Wide mouthed, wide eyed smiling and giggling

At that same Seder, he had his first taste of chicken soup in his Avent baby bottle.

I mention Avent, because, when Andrew was a baby, I was obsessed with having that brand. I couldn't tell you today why that was the bottle of choice or even what that bottle had over other bottles. Parenting magazine told me that was the one I MUST have, so that is what I bought!

So, my mom fed him the soup, in his Avent bottle. This act of love was also a homage to me when I was a baby. Her mom fed me chicken soup from a bottle, which I'm pretty positive wasn't Avent!

In the Jewish tradition, food is a way of expressing love. And we've expressed a whole lot of love over the years. We've been so fortunate to have shared meals with friends and family for holidays, Shabbats, birthdays and anniversaries.

And we look very forward to sharing a meal with you to celebrate Andrew's big day.

Happy Thanksgiving!


*During the Jewish holiday of Purim, the story of Queen Esther is read to the congregation. When the story is read during the kids service, there are a lot of theatrics and audience participation. One way the congregation participates is by saying "G-d Bless Her" each time the name Queen Esther is read. To this day, I can't meet a woman named Esther and not either out loud or silently to myself say the words, "G-d Bless her".

**Jewish tradition holds G-d's name in high regard, and as a result, the name is not written out on pages that might be thrown away. I'm not sure how this applies to the Intranet, but I'm not going to take any chances :) Paranoid? Yes!

DIY -- invitations

Invitations are more than information on a page. They set the tone. They set the scene. They give permission. I asked Andrew what he wanted, and his reply was simple. Just send out a note that says you're invited. Hope you can come.

This invitation will be more detailed than an evite, but less regal than a royal wedding. In fact, I've decided to take the frugal approach and make my own. (...which you are about to learn is a comic event in itself.)

Poor Andrew. While I'm a very doting parent, I never created scrapbooks or took a lot of pictures over these past 12 years. Thankfully, Danny has! As you are probably realizing, I'm channeling those 12 years of memories into this blog...and the invitation.

Say what you will, with what you end up receiving, but I wouldn't trade in this DIY (do it yourself) experience. Here's how I approached the process.
1. Colors -- As you may remember, colors are a bit of a sore subject with me. (see "It's all about..." post ). So in order to figure out the what colors to go with I drew inspiration from Andrew's new Tallis that his grandma and Bumpa, Esther and Mike bought for him. Ironically, there's a lot of blue.

2. Design elements -- Should it fold? Should it have an envelope for the envelope? Should the RSVP be completed via email, or should I include a card to mail in. How many versions should be created? In town guests, out-of-town guests, Friday night dinner, the service, the party. Is an invite necessary for Sunday brunch. Should I include the card from the hotel? Am I'm driving you crazy yet with all my questions?

3. Do I order, or do I make them myself? -- Loving, caring, inclusive. These are all words that describe me. Patient, perfectionist, passive. These words? Not so much. So making my own invitations has become a group effort. My mom came with me to help cut out the invitations and the stars. Many have read and proofed what I wrote as well as assembled and glued. Let me tell you, it doesn't only take a village to raise a child!

4. How long does it really take to make them myself? --
The process to get these invitations out has been more comic than convenient. And, I'm only admitting this to you...it's a bit of a potchka (Yiddish I think for clumsy, not so easy to do). For example... After using what I thought was the 'glue tape' dispenser to stick on the stars, I realized I was using the refill packet, not the dispenser. No wonder the tape wasn't working so well!

5. Reality has met the road
Ironically, of all the planning I've been doing, getting these invitations ready to send has been the hardest. Even writing this post has taken me most of the week! Later this week these handcrafted creations will be mailed, which means this milestone is is no longer a plan, but rather a party!

11-11-11

Andrew's favorite number? Eleven.

Why? It's the first two numbers in his birthday 1-1-99! Andrew's been active in sports since he was about 4, and for every sport -- t-ball, basketball, baseball -- we've lobbied the coaches to give him either the number 1 or 11. We've been pretty successful, too.

I thought it would be fun today if I gave you a top 11 list, since the dates over emphasizes Andrew's favorite number. So here are the top 11 reflections on Andrew's (Danny and I) journey to Andrew's Bar Mitzvah.

11.
Add up Talmud Torah, Saturday School, Haftorah tutoring, rabbi meetings, cantor meetings and you'll get more than 1,500 classes.

10.
Ghost stories, gossip, homework, being the first to spot a yellow car, jamming out to KDWB and sports talk, are just a few ways the kids in the carpool passed the time to and from Talmud Torah. Not like I was eaves dropping or anything!

9.
A teacher whose dad married Danny and I, a teacher from Israel, a teacher from South Africa. Andrew's Jewish education has proven that it's a small world after all! (insert song here)

7.
A Mazda 5, Mazda 6, Mitzsubishi, Greenie the SUV, Brownie the mid-size car. What do these things have common? Cars that have made appearances at the doors of Talmud Torah many days a week, and Adath for Saturday School.

6.
Tossed salad in a plastic bag, cold cut sandwiches, McDonalds, Subway, Burger King. Just a few of the gourmet meals that have been elegantly served from the moonlit seats...of the car on our way from Talmud Torah to either Basketball or Baseball practice or games.

5.
White shirts, blue pants, accordians, hebrew songs and proud parents. Yes, we attended a few class performances, and Andrew's performance was better than Broadway, of course!

4.
Coffee, hummus, bagels, lemonade, brownies, cake. Foods that are plentiful at all parent-kid events at Talmud Torah.

3.
Driving from Robbinsdale Middle School to Zachary Lane to the JCC. Driving from the JCC to the Levitt's, to the Lehman's to the Fienbergs to our house. A round about route to and from school to TT to home.

2.
Driving, Driving, Driving, Driving. Deserves a reflection all on its' own

1.
Sure feels crazy to think all these events are now in the rear view mirror.

Functional Literacy -- Part Shtayim (2)

While Andrew may not completely realize it today, his religious school experience is practically Ivy League.

Growing up in Fargo, Danny attended Sunday school at Temple Beth El. He was joined by three or four other kids, and occasionally more when a Jewish family moved to town affiliated with NDSU or the hospital. Unlike my Beta tape tutorials, Danny got the full experience. He learned about the holidays, Israel and occasionally goofed off with the other kids.

When it came time for Danny's Bar Mitzvah, however, the experience was more rote than trope. While Andrew's training began in third grade, Danny's began about nine months before the big day. Andrew spent months learning trope, the musical notes Torah readers follow when chanting the Torah. Danny was given a cassette tape, and was tasked to listen and memorize the melody.

In our opinion, Andrew's Bar Mitzvah training has been top rate. For the past five years, Andrew has attended Talmud Torah -- and not via video. For three years, he's attended Saturday school with more than 50 or so kids. He was given a DVD to familiarize himself with his portion, however, his instructors have made sure that he not only reads the words but also understands what the words mean.

The similar thread that runs through Andrew, Danny and my experience is the value placed on being Jewish. Our parents, Danny and I would agree that it doesn't matter how the experience is packaged -- the number of kids in the class, the method for learning the melody. It's just a gift we are proud to share.

Functional Literacy -- Part 1

Our son is a Hebrew scholar. Of course we're going to think so, we're his parents. However, truly understanding why we say this has so much to do with mine and Danny's own Hebrew education.

Growing up in Minot, ND, my parents worked hard to make sure I had a strong sense of my Jewish identity. We lit the candles most Friday nights. I went to a Jewish summer camp from the time I was 10 until I graduated high school. And they worked with the Minneapolis Talmud Torah to help teach me how to read Hebrew.

Many of you have heard this story, but it's worth repeating. I think it was when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I learned how to read Hebrew on Beta video tapes sent to me from the Talmud Torah.

No, this was not a video collection my parents found on the QVC for the low, low price of $29.99 a month for six months. And no, Beta in those days didn't mean test mode. Beta was a video format like VHS.

My parents would slip in the awkwardly-large tape into the VCR, and on the screen a teacher stood before a chalkboard in the classroom and instructed me on the Hebrew alphabet, and how the sounds came together to form the words on the page.

Ironically, there was always a lot of commotion going on outside the room, and as I write this I'm beginning to wonder if it was any of you who grew up in Minneapolis running through the halls...hmmm...

Following the lesson, my Dad and I would sit, side-by-side, squished together, on an over-sized 1970's, orange chair. Together, we'd read out loud from a book that accompanied the lesson from the tape. Sounds like an Andy Warholstein image, right? Well, no, not exactly. Here's how I remember it:

Me: I can't remember the sounds!
Dad: Let's start again
Me: (energy rising) I don't want to do this
Dad: Just read it through
Me: (tears) nooooo!
Dad: Let's keep going
Me: (emphatic) FINE!

Due to Dad's perseverance through my stubbornness, I did learn to read Hebrew. Sadly, I read like a 1st grader reads English. While everyone else in services davens a mile-a-minute, I slowly read through the sounds.

Andrew also started learning to read Hebrew around 3rd grade. However, his instruction was in an actual Talmud Torah classroom. No tears. Sadly, no oversized, orange chair -- I did love that chair. Andrew remembers the sounds and his ready fluency is fluid.

This concludes part one. But, I'm sure you're wondering - was Danny Bar Mitzvah'ed? Will Heidi be able to help Andrew learn trope? Will Andrew find a carpool to Talmud Torah? All these questions and more will be answered in Part 2 of Functional Literacy. Please watch your emails for the next installment...

Warm Thoughts

Take a look at the weather widget in the right column. Tonight it says 44 degrees, but feels like 71 degrees. Let's all collectively remember this moment. ...ahhhh, nice.

Let's face it, weather in Minnesota can be unpredictable. The night before Andrew was born, December 31st, the weather was warm. The day he was born it was chilly. The day after he was born a big storm blew in, and when it came time for his Bris, it was 40 below zero.

I tell you this because it's possible Andrew's Bar Mitzvah might land during some chilly weather. But here's what I say...Let's embrace it!

Here's how we've warmed up Andrew's birthday over the past 12 years.

We declare his birthday a national holiday -- Well that was already done for us. Andrew's birthday is January 1. And while he wasn't born anytime close to midnight on the 31st, every year we stay up and count down to his birthday.

We've made the day extra "suite" -- One lucky year, we watched the Timberwolves from my employer's corporate suite. Nevermind that the team wasn't too good, we felt extra fancy hangin' like superstars watching the game.

We mix up some fun -- Jordan is a Food Network fan, and each year he bakes up a cake for Andrew for us all to enjoy.

Here's our word to the wise. Pack your long underwear, your snuggie, your parka, gloves, scarf and hat. But also be ready to celebrate and break a sweat on the dance floor!

Eliya Shmuel

When I told Danny we were pregnant with Andrew, there was a pregnant pause. I was excited, he was excited, but going through both of our minds was the same thought...things are going to be a changin'.

We didn't talk about the pregnancy alot, let alone what we wanted to name the baby once he/she joined the world. About 14 weeks into the pregnancy, while driving in the car, we gently started the naming conversation.

me: Danny, what names do you like?
Danny (with a sly eye): well, if it's a boy, maybe Alberto Javier Alejandro.
me: huh?

The next conversation, was again in the car:

me: Danny, have you thought anymore about the name?
Danny (again with the sly eye): Well...if it's a boy, Alberto Javier Alejandro Buddafucco Inigo Montoya Geller
me: huh? seriously?
Danny (darn that eye): Of course! Alberto Javier Alejandro because we want him to be an all-star baseball player, and those are the best baseball names; Buddafucco, well I don't know... And; Inigo Montoya because he was a great character from Princess Bride.
me: What about if it's a girl?
Danny: ummm....Bob

We didn't talk much again about the name until it got closer to the due date. What we did know, however, was that we wanted to give the baby, if it was a boy, the Hebrew names of my grandfather (Eliya) on my mom's side, and Danny's grandfather (Shmuel) on his Dad's side.

Jewish tradition says that baby's are named after a family member who has passed away. Not only are you passing a name down, but you are also passing what you remember to be the most beautiful qualities of that person. For me, my Papa, Eli (Eliya), was a gentle soul. Soft spoken and always put family first. Qualities, I am so proud to see come to life in Andrew. For Danny, his Grandpa, Sam (Shmuel) always looked out for those closest to him, family was important, and most important was his faith. Again, qualities that are ever present in Andrew.

You all know the end to the naming story. We didn't go with Alberto Javier Alejandro Buddafucco Inigo Montoya Geller. Although Andrew does love to play baseball, and has watched the Princess Bride a number of times.

No, we went with Andrew Sam (Eliya Shmuel). And we know that while Papa and Grandpa are no longer with us, we hold their memory in our hearts and honor their names through Andrew.

The theme: It's all about...

When Andrew turned two, I hosted a color-themed party. Blue was the color. The kids dressed in blue. The jello I made was blue. The balloons were blue. The cupcakes of course were blue, which turned all the kids' mouths' blue.

So, why blue? I was obsessed with creating an early memory for Andrew. I was convinced that if I had a simple theme Andrew would remember the big day, and of course the party.

Here's a little sidebar. Truth be told, ever since I was 10, I've wanted to pull memories from when I was two and one. I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to remember those days. Hey, I'm an only child. Sometimes entertainment is hard to come by!

But...I digress. A few years ago, I asked Andrew the ever so important question, "Do you remember the theme of your second birthday?" I gave him a hint, and told him it was a color. His answer? "Was it green?"

Was it green. Was it green? Seriously? After all my deliberate efforts to make a mark on his memory, he asks, was it green?

Needless to say, I don't concentrate much on themes anymore. So, no, Andrew doesn't have a theme. HOWEVER, we do have a goal. We hope that everyone feels that after the weekend celebrations are over, you know a little more about Andrew. Maybe his favorite sports teams, or his favorite music, or his favorite color.

If pushed, I'd say the theme is Andrew. It's all about him. And we couldn't be more proud!

The Four Questions

This week, we had our first meeting with the rabbi to talk about what we can expect leading up to the big day.

We started with the familiarities.
- How is the studying coming along?
- Does Andrew feel ready?
- Do we feel ready?
- Any questions?

Any questions, eh? Well, I had a few, but none that I was willing to publicly ask. Like...

...What if Andrew needs...well...you know...to "see a man about a horse", in the middle of the service? Is there a secret handshake or motion he gives to the rabbi to create a distraction? Or is that why sermons' exist? In the event, the Bar Mitzvah boy needs to step out, a sermon will commence so that said boy can leave without anyone noticing.

...What if an outspoken congregant heckles us? I know this isn't the Comedy Club, but once, I was at a service where the guest rabbi was giving a lecture and was going on and on. An older lady emphatically let the rabbi know he needed to finish. She said loudly, enough for everyone to hear, that the rabbi had talked long enough and he needed to sit down. True story. So, I ask, has this ever happened during a Dvar Torah, or when the parents get up to talk?

...Also, since we bring the boy, does the Shul bring the challah and wine? You never really think about how the ritual food items get set up. And while it may seem silly, how silly is it if we forgot to bring something as simple as bread up to the bimah? I can just see it. The service ends, and no one can be adjourned because we can't say ha motzi.

...What is the appropriate honor for Billy Joel? An aliyah? Opening the ark? Okay...truth-be-told, Danny and I invited Billy to our wedding. He was going through a messy divorce with his then wife Christie Brinkley. We didn't hear back one way or the other, but we honestly understood, given his heartbreak and all. So, sensing that there really shouldn't be anything holding him back from coming to the Bar Mitzvah...except the weather of course... we should plan to give him an honor if he RSVP's yes, right?

I'm sure you agree. Questions like these shouldn't be shared with the rabbi. In fact, questions like these shouldn't be revealed to you. Truthfully, it's comic relief from the "oh boy, here we go" jitters we're getting as we realize this milestone is definitely becoming reality!

100 days until the big day

It's erev Rosh Hashanah. Chef Danny's homemade chicken soup is simmering on the stove, complete with extra gizzards, cooked- in-the-pot chicken, and fresh parsnip and carrots. Chef Jordan's potato knishes are defrosting in the fridge. Honey crisp apples are chillin' in the fridge, and I have the table almost set. It's going to be a sweet new year!

How appropriate that today marks 100 days until Andrew's Bar Mitzvah. Let's party like it's 5772! Check out this video!




http://youtu.be/T_M5-qthA8w

Welcome!

Hello! Welcome to Andrew Geller's Bar Mitzvah site.

Here's where you will find all the important details like where to stay if you are out of town, as well as your own personal look behind the curtain of our plans. We'll be adding to the site as we go, so please sign up to receive updates.